Investing in Love: The Power of Transparent Finances

By Angela Grannan on February 7, 2024

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, especially on Valentine’s Day, but did you know that money is the #1 issue that married couples fight about?[1]

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised—money and finances are a big part of sharing a life with someone. There’s fun stuff, like vacations and dinners out, and not-so-fun stuff, like mortgages and college expenses, to consider. 

To minimize the fights and strengthen your bond, there are two approaches to financial matters that are critical to a relationship: Transparency and Communication. 

Let’s start with transparency. 

Whether you are a new couple or one that has been together for many years, honesty is the best policy when it comes to money. You should BOTH be aware of what you OWN and what you OWE. There should be no secrets when it comes to spending, income and credit scores.[2] 

It’s important to recognize that personalities differ. Be honest with each other about how you feel about money and risk. Your attitudes about money and investing may be very different, and that’s OK. In fact, your different investing styles may complement each other. What’s important is that you are honest with each other and work together to make investment decisions that will contribute to your financial security later.[3] 

Transparency goes hand in hand with open and honest communication around finances. 

Couples in healthy marriages talk about money with their spouse on a daily or weekly basis, so don’t be shy—discuss![4] A perfect way to regularly and honestly talk about your finances is to review your budget and create a financial plan. 

When it comes to budgeting and managing your daily finances, discuss what makes you both comfortable. Decide on who pays the bills and what account they are paid from. There are different schools of thought on whether couples should have a joint account or maintain separate individual accounts. Do what works best for you, but remember, transparency is key! Whoever is paying the bills (the CFO) should update the other spouse on a regular basis.[5]

Another great way to honestly discuss your finances is to create a Financial Plan.  A plan will ask you to consider your short and long-term goals as a couple, such as buying a house or paying for your kids’ college and, of course, your retirement. You will do a deep dive into retirement and investment assets, social security, savings and retirement income. As your life and priorities change, so will your plan, so having those conversations and making those updates is key to your long term financial success.

We use this analogy often, but you are Co-CEOs of your corporation (household). You don’t need to be an expert on everything, but you should be aware of what is happening in each of your financial departments. 

Transparency and communication are key to the success of the corporation. So, schedule a regular financial date night with your partner and keep communicating! 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

[1] https://www.ramseysolutions.com/relationships/the-truth-about-money-and-relationships

[2] https://www.merrilledge.com/article/6-tips-for-financially-happy-marriage

[3] https://www.merrilledge.com/article/6-tips-for-financially-happy-marriage

[4] https://www.ramseysolutions.com/relationships/the-truth-about-money-and-relationships

[5] https://www.kiplinger.com/personal-finance/tips-for-becoming-a-financially-successful-couple